Dying to be me by Anita Moorjani and other NDEs

dying to be meFor what feels like close to 3 years now i have been going to Satsang with Erin. She offers these mostly monthly philosophical evenings in Tauranga and Auckland.

About a year ago i felt i needed to ask Erin about death.

A few months later three men i was connected to died.
The night of Robbie’s funeral Erin held a Satsang in my midwives home and we talked on death. She encouraged us to talk about it, especially with our children.

That same week my Dad ‘randomly?’ called to talk with me about his will. I started to write about it here on this blog. I started to read about it again – taking The Tibetan Book of Living and Dying from the colour streamed shelving in the lounge, to lie it next to the bed, tucked in beside Rumi and Nigel Slater’s Kitchen Diaries.
I started to ask other wise ones, teachers in my life, about death. Pennie Brownlee told me about Mellen-Thomas Benedict.
I told me about ‘What’s the Matter?’ By Dr Mike Godfrey.
Bert Esser told me about Anita Moorjani.
This trinity pointed me towards the NDE, the Near Death Experience.

I played Anita’s interview with Lilou Mace at the Sarah Festival 2015 (a night of uplifting backyard film).
Sarah had picked the book out – Dying to be me by Anita Moorjani – ‘randomly’ a week earlier from the Tauranga Library.
I finally remembered to look for it on a library visit with Kelli and our collective kids.

Oh my, people. Oh, my. Please find a copy and read it, and read it again, and return again.

In a nutshell in case you need something more to hang your hat on, before you go find it: Dying to be me is about Anita’s unsuccessful fight with cancer. Anita died. When her body was dead, among other experiences, she met her ‘dead’ father and bestfriend who encouraged her return to her ‘physical body’. She did. Within 4 days of being alive (in her physical body as she terms it) she healed her body of cancer.

Many people may be interested in this side of the tale and i am interested in the insight, the learning, the transformation that dying gave her. She has returned with the encouragement of her father to ‘live her life fearlessly’ and with a knowing or a sense or a way of how to be.

Now, mostly for my reference i’m going to attempt to pick out the most ‘radiant’ of paragraphs.
Right now i feel like it is my ‘be’ reference, i was going to write ‘life’ reference, but that feels removed and external and over there.
Dying to be me is a ‘be’ reference.
I have further questions for Anita about some ‘stops’ but for now i wish to share her joy, her love, her experience with you. I love the way she’s talking about what i hear in Satsang with Erin and company. Unconditional Love. Be. Real emotion only last 90 seconds, after that it becomes a story. I love that i can hear Krishnamurti and Eckhart Tolle within her words of encouragement, about the myth of separation. That we are all one. All part of the one tapestry. I love that she talks about being in joy, which is when i hear the kindness and beckoning of Joseph Campbell in his follow your bliss call.

Without further ado, I give you some of the imprints, of Anita Moorjani:

Page 68: Every single encounter was woven together to create the fabric that was the sun of my life up to this point. I may have been only one thread, yet i was integral to the overall finished picture. Seeing this, I understood that I owed it to myself, to everyone I met, and to life itself to always be an expression of my own unique essence. Trying to be anything or anyone else didn’t make me better – it just deprived me of my true self! It kept others from experiencing me for who I am, and it deprived me of interacting authentically with them. Being inauthentic also deprives the universe of who I came her to be and what I came here to express.

Page 69: Just look at my life path! Why, of why, have I always been so harsh with myself? Why was I always beating myself up? Why was I always forsaking myself? Why did I never stand up for myself and show the world the beauty of my own soul? Why was I always suppressing my own intelligence and creativity to please others? I betrayed myself every time I said yes when I meant no! Why have I violated myself every time I said yes when I meant no! Why have I violated myself by always needing to seek approval from others just to be myself? Why haven’t I followed my own beautiful heart and spoken my won truth?

Page 70: I didn’t need to do anything specific; I deserved to be loved simply because I existed, nothing more and nothing less. This was a rather surprising realiszation for me, because I’d always thought I needed to work at being lovable. I believed that I somehow had to be deserving and worthy of being cared for, so it was incredible to realise this wasn’t the case. I’m loved unconditionally, for no other reason than simply because I exist.

Pg 107: I felt that people had lost the ability to see the magic of life. They didn’t share my wonder or enthusiasm for my surroundings – and just being alive. They seemed caught up in routine, and their minds were on the next thing they had to do, It was exactly what I used to do before my NDE. Everyone was so cuaght up with doing that they’d all forgotten how to just be in the moment. But most of all, I felt that I was at the edge of something wonderful that was about to unfold. I felt that there was some greater purpose to having experienced everything I’d just been through. Even with this inner excitement, however, with this feeling that I was on the precipice of some great adventure, I still didn’t feel that I had to do or pursue anything for it to happen. I just had to be myself, fearlessly! In that way, I’d be allowing myself to be an instrument of love. I understood that this was the best thing that any of us could possibly do or be, for both the planet and ourselves. Since I realised this, problems just didn’t seem that big anymore. I felt that people were taking life and their problems too seriously – which is what I used to do. In the past, I was drawn into other people’s dramas, as well as my own. But following my NDE, I just felt blessed to be alive and to get a second opportunity to express myself here. I no longer wanted to waste even one minute of the great adventure. I wanted to be as much me as I could possibly be and savor and taste every deilcious minute of being alive.

Pg 109 I no longer viewed death in the same way as others did, either, so it was very hard for me to mourn anyone. Of course, if someone close to me passed on, I was sad because I missed them. But I no longer mourned for the deceased, because I knew they’d transcended to another realm, and I knew that they were happy! It’s not possible to be sad there. At the same time, I also knew that even their death was perfect, and everything would unfold in the way it was meant to in the greater tapestry.

Pg 111 I found myself grappling with how seriously everyone was taking everything – for example, how stressed out everyone was about money and finances, even though they had a lot of other beautiful things to enjoy and be thankful for. I also couldn;t undestand how much people neglected everything else – including love, relationships, talent, creativity, individulaity, and so on – for the sake of money, and how much time they spent working at jobs they didn’t enjoy. The way everyone viewed life seemed all wrong to me. Priorities and values were misaligned, and everything seemed back to front. I realised that I probably used to think that way, too, yet I couldn’t imagine going back to it ever again.

Pg 113 Out of the many messages I brought back from my NDE – we are all one, we are love at our core, we are magnificent – this was the strongest one and kept reverberating  within me. In addition, because of my NDE, I went from an outside-in view of reality to an inside-out view. That is, I used to think that the external world was real and that I had to work within its confines. This is pretty much how most people think. With this view, I gave my power to the world outside, and external events had the ability to control me – my behaviour, moods, and thinking. Emotional reactions and feelings weren’t considered real because they weren’t tangible. They’re thought to be merely reactions to external events. In that model, I was a victim of circumstances rather than the creator of my life. Even illness was an external event that just ‘happened’ to me randomly. However, after my NDE, I began to see myself as a divine and integral part of the greater Whole. This includes everything in the entire universe, everything that has ever existed and ever will, and it’s all connected. I realised that I was at the centre of this universe, and knew that we all express from our perspective, as we’re each at the centre of this great cosmic web.

Pg 115 I understood that true joy and happiness could only be found by loving myself, going inward, following my heart, and doing what brought me joy. I discovered that when my life seems directionless and I feel lost (which still happens to me frequently) what it really means is that I’ve lost my sense of self. I’m not connected with who I truly am and what I’ve come here to be. This has tended to happen when I stop listening to my own internal voice and give my power away to external sources, such as TV commercials, newspapers, big drug companies, my peers, cultural and societal beliefs, and the life. Previously when I felt lost, one of the first things I did was to search outside for answers. I looked to books, teachers, and gurus, in the hope that they’d provide me with the ever-elusive solution. That’s exactly what I did when I was first diagnosed with cancer. But I only ended up feeling even more adrfit because I was giving my own power away again and again. I found that having an inside-out view means being able to fully trust my inner guidance. It’s as though, what i feel has an impact on my entire universe. In other words, because I’m at the centre of my cosmic web, the Whole is affected by me. So as far as I’m concerned, if I’m happy, the universe is happy. If I love myself, everyone else will love me. If I’m at peace, all of creation is peaceful, and so on. If things seemed challenging, instead of trying to change them physically (which is what I did pre-NDE), I began checking in with my internal world. If I’m stressed, anxious, unhappy, or something simlar, I go inward and tend to that first. I sit with myself, walk in nature, or listen to music until I get to a centered place where I fell calm and collected. I noticed that when I do so, my external world also changes, and many of the obstacles just fall away without my actually doing anything. What I mean by being ‘centered’ is experiencing being at the center of my cosmic web, being aware of my position. This is really the only place any of us ever are, and it’s important to feel our centrality at the core of it. But from time to time, I forgot my central place in the cosmos. I got caught up in all the dramas, contradictions, angst, and pain of the physical world and couldn’t see myself as one of the expanded, magnificent, infinite beings we all truly are. Luckily, I realized at those times that we never really become disconnected from the centre. rather, we temporarily lose sight of it and don’t feel the sense of peace and joy that comes from it. We get caught up in the illusion of separation and can’t see that happiness and sadness go hand in hand – like light and dark, yin and yang. Our sense of disconnection is simply part of the illusion of duality that makes it difficult to see oneness forming out of perceived separation. But getting centered means seeing through this and once again feeling our infinite place at the center of it all…at the centre of oneness. I still had the visceral knowledge that we’re all one with the universe. Therefore, I knew that even while I’m in my physical body, whether I’m aware of it or not, I am at the centre of the great cosmic web that is the universe! This is the same as realising my magnificence and my connection to the Infinite.

Pg 117: Over the years since my NDE, I’ve experienced changes in my external requirements, too. I’ve discovered that I need to be near nature, particularly the sea, in order to feel my best. Similar to the wonder I felt in my first days out of the hospital, I find that I can instantly connect with my NDE state by looking at the waves and listening to the ocean. I’ve watched in delight as the friends I’ve become close to and my immediate family members have made shifts of their own. And this may sound unusual, but since my NDE, many people have told me that they feel an energy change when they’re around me, I rarely speak about this publicly because I believe that such things come from within the self. I may be reflecting to them what they were ready to experience. Because of my experience, I absolutely do strongly believe that we all have the capacity to heal ourselves as well as facilitate the healing of others. When we get in touch with that infinite place within us where we are Whole, then illness can’t remain in the body. And because we’re all connected, there’s no reason why one person’s state of wellness can’t touch others, elevating them and triggering their recovery. And when we heal others, we also heal ourselves and the planet. There’s no separation except in our own minds.

Pg 120 Again, I knew I wouldn’t have to do anything; it would just unfold as long as I allowed it to happen. And in that moment, I thought, Bring it on! Whatever you have i store for me, I’m open to it! Now I understand!

Pg 126 Mira’s story only reinforces that we’re all – every single one of us – unique, indispensable facets of the infinite universe. Each of us is an integral part of the greater unfolding tapestry that’s continually working toward healing the planet. Our only obligation is to always be true to ourselves and to allow.

Pg 127 Everything happens when we’re ready for it to happen. I’ve now well and truly learned that when I become centred – when i realise my place at the heart of the universe and feel my magnificence and my connection to it all that is – time and distance become irrelevant.

Pg 128 I want to say, too, that after my NDE, things got a whole lot easier. I no longer feared death, cancer, accidents or any of the myriad things that used to concern me…except for expanding out into the greater world! I’ve learned to trust the wisdom of my infinite self. I know that I – along with everyone else – am a powerful, magnificent, unconditionally loved, and loving force.

pg 132 Looking back, I see that most of us are taught from a very young age to be afraid, although I don’t believe we’re born this way. One of things I believe is that we already are what we spend our lives trying to attain, but we just don’t realise it. We come into this life knowing our magnificence. I don’t know why, but the world seems to erode it as we start to grow up. I was a people pleaser and feared disapproval, regardless of the source. I bent over backward to avoid people thinking ill of me; and over the years, I lost myself in the process. I was completely disconnected from who I was or what I wanted, because everything I did was designed to win approval – everyone’s except my won. In fact, in the years leading up to my cancer, if anyone had asked me what I wanted in life, I would have had to say that I really didn’t know. I was so wrapped up in cultural expectations, trying to be the person I was expected to be, that I really didn’t know what was important to me.

pg 135 While I was in that state of clarity in the other realm, I instinctively understood that I was dying because of all my fears. I wasn’t expressing my true self because my worries were preventing me from doing so. I understood that the cancer wasn’t a punishments or anything like that. It was just my own energy, manifesting as cancer because my fears weren’t allowing me to express myself as the magnificent force I was meant to be. In that expansive state, I relaised how harshly I’d treated myself and judged myself throughout my life. There was nobody punishing me. I finally understood that it was me I hadn’t forgiven, not other people. I was the one who was judging me, whom I’d forsaken, and whom I didn’t love enough. It had nothing to do with anyone else. I saw myself as a beautiful child of the universe. Just the fact that I existed made me deserving of unconditional love. I realised that I didn’t need to do anything to deserve this – not pray, nor beg, nor anything eklse. I saw that I’d never loved myself, valued myself, or seen the beauty of my own soul. Although the unconditional magnificence was always there for me, it felt as though physical life had somehow filtered it out or even eroded it away.

Pg 136 I want to clarify that my healing wasn’t so much born from a shift in my state of mind of beliefs as it was from finally allowing my true spirit to shine through. Many have asked me if something like positive thinking caused my recovery, and the answer is no. The state I was in during my NDE was way beyond the mind, and I healed because my damaging thoughts were simply out of the way completely. I was not in a state of thinking, but a state of being. I don’t advocate that is we ‘believe’ a certain way, we’ll eliminate disease or create an ideal life. That can sometimes be too simplistic. Instead, I’m more focused on self-awareness, which is different. Becoming entrenched in beliefs that no longer serve us can keep us locked in a state of duality and put us in a constant state of judgement. What we endorse is considered ‘good’ or ‘positive’, and what we don’t believe in is not.

Pg 137 So not, it wasn’t my beliefs that caused me to heal. My NDE was a state of pure awareness, which is a state of complete suspension of all previously held doctrine and dogma. This allowed my body to ‘reset’ itself. In other words, an absence of belief was required for my healing. Since my NDE, I’ve learned that strongly held ideologies actually work against me. Needing to operate out of concrete beliefs limits my experiences because it keeps me within the realm of only what i know – and my knowledge is limited. And if I restrict myself to only what i’m able to conceive, I’m holding back my potential and what I allow into my life. However, if I can accept that my understanding is incomplete, and if I’m able to be comfortable with uncertainty, this opens me up to the realm of infinite possibilities.

Pg 138
I must let go of the need to be healed and just enjoy and trust in the ride that is life.

To me, the first step to conscious awareness is understanding how nature intended things to be. It means being aware of our bodies and our surroundings and being able to respect the essence of things without needing them to be different – and this includes ourselves. We must understand the magnificence of how the universe intended us to be without needing to change it. I don’t have to try to live up to other people’s expectations of perfection and then feel inadequate when i fail miserably.
I’m at my most powerful when I allow myself to be who life intended me to be – which is why my healing occured only when all conscious action on my part had completely ceased and the life force took over. In other words, I’m at my most powerful when i am working with life rather than against it.

I don’t recall ever being encouraged to cherish myself – in fact, it would never even have occurred to me to do so. It’s commonly thought of as being selfish. But my NDE allowed me to realise that this was the key to my healing.

Pg 139
In the tapestry of life, we’re all connected. Each one of us is a gift to those around us, helping each other be who we are, weaving a perfect picture together. When I was in the NDE state, it all became so clear to me because I understood that to be me is to be love. This is the lesson that saved my life.
Many of us still believe that we have to work at being loving, but that means living in duality, because there’s a giver and a receiver. Realising that we are love transcends this. It means understanding that there’s no separation between you and me, and if I’m aware that I am love, then I know that you are, too. If I care for myself, then I automatically feel the same for you!

Similarly, when we know that we are love, we don’t need at work at being loving toward others. Instead, we just have to be true to ourselves, and we become instruments of loving energy, which touches everyone we come into contact with.
Being love also means being aware of the importance of nurturing my own soul, taking care of my own needs, and not putting myself last all the time. This allows me to be true to myself at all times and to treat myself with total respect and kindness. It also lets me view what may be interpreted as imperfections and mistakes with no judgement, seeing only opportunities to experience and to learn with unconditional love.

Personal NB: When I don’t put ‘myself’ first, does self mean (stripped of work, even creative work that brings me joy). I start to pass judgement even on this statement. I think it means myself in my well state. Have I showered , brushed my hair, bought clothes i feel happy and expressed in, been for a walk in nature, had time be myself, done something that makes me laugh.

Self could also mean my creative self. Have i allotted time to this blog, to knitting, to seeing my girl friends, to bringing events to people through wild & grace.

I find it difficult to shake that the idea of prioritising the above makes me a selfish mother and wife and possibly one who’d flawed because i need ‘to do’ things to feel valuable. Or i need to contribute to feel happy? Or I need to make to feel productive to feel autonomous, to feel liberated, to feel happy.

Is Anita suggesting i can’t be selfish if i value all aspects of what make me happy? What happens if this means someone else to ‘pick up the slack’ in order for me to be able to do these things. What happens if in order for me to ‘be me’, to ‘be happy’, to ‘be love’ someone else is being disadvantaged and put into a place of not ‘being them’. ‘being happy’, ‘being love’.

What of sacrifice? Would Anita prescribe it? Is there a place for it? I think I believe relationships require negotiation, compromise, flexibility, give take, sacrifice, one suffering for the other to thrive and vice versa.

pg 140
Selfishness comes from lack of self-love. Our planet is suffering from this, as we humans are, along with too much insecurity, judgement, and conditioning. In order to truly care for someone unconditionally, I have to feel that way toward myself. I can’t give away what I don’t have. To say that I hold another in higher regard than myself isn’t real and means i’m only performing.

When I’m being love, I don’t get drained, and I don’t need people to behave a certain way in order to feel cared for or to share my magnificence with them. They’re automatically getting my love as a result of me being my true self. And when I am nonjudgmental of myself, I feel that way toward others.

When we’re each aware of our own magnificence, we don’t feel the need to control others, and we won’t allow ourselves to be controlled. When I awoke into my infinite self, I was amazed to understand that my life could be dramatically different just by realizing that I am love, and I always have been. I don’t have to do anythings to deserve it. Understanding this means that I’m working with life-force energy, whereas performing at being loving is working against it.

Realising that I am love was the most important lesson I learned, allowing me to release all fear, and that’s the key that saved my life.

Pg 141
During my near-death experience, it felt as if I were connected to the entire universe and everything contained within it; and it seemed that the cosmos was alive, dynamic, and conscious. I found that every thought, emotion, or action I made while expressing through the physical body had an effect on the Whole. In fact, in that realm of Oneness, it felt as though the whole universe were an extension of me. This realisation has, of course, dramatically changed the way I view things. We’re all co-creating this world and our lives within it through our emotions, thoughts, and actions.

Pg 143
In the physical plane, however, our sensory organs limit us. Our eyes take in what they see in this instant; our ears hear in the same way. The mind can only exist in one moment, and then it strings those moments together to form a linear progression. But when we spill out of our bodies, we cross all time and space with awareness – not sight, hearing, touch, taste, or smell. We’re pure consciousness.

Because of this, I believe that when someone has a glimpse of what have previously been interpreted as ‘past lives’, they’re actually accessing parallel or simultaneous existences, because all time exists at once. And because we’re all connected, it’s possible to achieve states of consciousness where glimpses of others’ reality seep through into our present moment, entering our consciousness as though they were memories.

My favourite of all of Anita’s suggestions:
” What if heaven or nirvana is actually here in physical expression, and not there in the afterlife?”…
We don’t have to wait until we die to experience nirvana. Our true magnificence exists right now!

Pg 144
The reason why humans are so vulnerable and fearful around this subject is because we create our ideas of the afterlife and our gods in human terms. We assign to these concepts the same physical properties and fallible values that we posses and are vulnerable to -values such as fear, retribution, judgment, and punishment. And then we project all our strength and power onto our own creations.

It’s unfortunate that we keep searching outside ourselves for answers – in religion, medicine, scientific study, books, and other people. We think the truth is somewhere out there, still elusive. Yet by doing this, we’re only getting more and more lost, appearing to move away from who we truly are. The entire universe is within us. My answers are inside of me, and yours lie within you, too. Everything that seemingly happens externally is occurring in order to trigger something within us, to expand us and take us back to who we truly are.

It can be tricky at first to distinguish what’s motivating us. The difference is that the mind is more about doing, and the soul is more about being. The infinite self is our essence. It’s who we truly are, as I described in the last chapter when I explained the importance of being love. The intellect is just a tool for navigating through this life. It figures out how to make enough money to put food on the table and make the rent, while the soul only wants to express itself.

The infinite self is where we have our instincts and intuition.

Pg 147
When we live completely from the mind over a period of time, we lose touch with the infinite self, and then we begin to feel lost. This happens when we’re in doing mode all the time, rather than being. The latter means living from the soul and is a state of allowing. It means letting ourselves be who and what we are without judgment. Being doesn’t mean that we don’t do anything. It’s just that our actions stem from following our emotions and feelings while staying present in the moment. Doing, on the other hand, is future focused, with the mind creating a series of tasks that take us from here to there in order to achieve a particular outcome, regardless of our current emotional state.

Pg 148
When we come from this place of being who we are, we can choose to learn from external gurus, teachers, books, or spiritual philosophies. We become aware of our own inner magnificence and truth, instead of believing that others have power that we don’t. In fact, when we realise our magnificence and live in our true nature of love, we’ll synchronistically attract the right teacher, book, or spiritual philosophy at the right time!

The way I see it, if we were encouraged to express who we truly are, we’d all be very loving beings, each bringing our uniqueness to the world. Problems and strife come as a result of our not knowing who we are and not being able to show our inner beauty. We’ve created so much judgment about what’s ‘perfect’, which leads to doubt and competitiveness. Since we feel as though we’re not good enough, we go around acting out. However, if each of us became aware of our magnificence and felt good about ourselves, it seems to me the only things we’d have to share is our unique nature, expressed outwardly in a loving manner that reflects our self-care.

Pg 149
Because most people don’t live in that clarity of self-awareness, laws, judgment, rewards, and punishments are required to keep folks from harming each other. If everyone were aware of their own magnificence, then we’d no longer be driven by fear. We wouldn’t need rules and jails…or hospitals.

pg 151
Each one of us is like a single thread in a huge tapestry, woven in a complex and colourful pattern. We may be only one strand, yet we’re all integral to the finished image. We affect the lives of others just by choosing whether or not to be our true selves. Our only obligation to others, our only purpose, is to express our uniqueness and allow others to do the same.

Pg 153
I know I’ve said it before, but it bears repeating: I now live my life from joy instead of from fear. This is the one very simple difference between who I was before my NDE and who I am today.

Before, without even realising it, everything I did was to avoid pain or to please other people. I was caught up in doing, pursuing, searching, and achieving and I was the last person I ever took into consideration. My life was driven by fear – of displeasing others, of failing, of being selfish, and of not being good enough. In my own head, I always fell short.

The external world mirrors what we feel about ourselves. By letting go of any negative self-judgment, we allow our world to transform; and as it does so, we’ll be able to feel greater and greater trust. The more we’re able to trust, the more we’re able to let go of trying to control the outcome. When we try to move with this flow rather than adhere dogmatically to the doctrines of the beliefs we once had that no longer serve us, we more accurately reflect who and what we truly are.

A bit about religion:
If we’re energetic beings inseparable from the Universal life force, we don’t need any outside system to make decisions for us or tell us how our energy can be raised or lowered. We’re all unique, so no one can really make blanket rules about what’s right for us. However, this is what many organised spiritual systems and religions seem to do. Once a structure is established, everyone is expected to follow the same tenets. Those who choose not to are judged negatively, and that’s how and why organised religions create divisiveness and strife instead of the unity that they’re trying to establish and those very rules. Following a religious path doesn’t necessarily exempt us from living a life of fear or even victimising others. Following a personal spiritual path, however, means to follow the promptings of out own inner being and taps into the infinite self we all are at our core.

Pg 155
So in the end, my NDE brought me back to myself. I believe this is the most powerful idea for each of us: realising that we’re here to discover and honour our own individual path. It doesn’t matter whether we renounce the material worlds and meditate on a mountaintop for 20 years or create a billion-dollar multinational company that employs thousand of people, giving them each a livelihood. We can attend a temple or church, sit on the beach, drink a margarita, take in a glorious sunset with a loved one, or walk through the park enjoying an ice-cream. Ultimately, whichever path we choose is the right one for us, and none of these options are any more or less spiritual than the others.

I’m not saying I’m against organised religion, but I am skeptical of any message when it leads to all the divisiveness, strife, and killing that go on in this world in the name of religion, when in truth, we’re all One – all facets of the same Whole. Human beings are so varied that some fare better with organised religion or spiritual paths, whereas others don’t. If we simply live in a way that nurtures us and allows us to express our creativity, letting us see our own magnificence, that’s the best we can possibly do. To advocate any option or doctrine as being the one true way would only serve to limit who we are and what we’ve come here to be.

Pg 156
If you feel you can follow a system effortlessly, or if it’s fun, that’s great! But the minute it starts to be hard work or feel like a means of controlling your emotions or thoughts, it probably won’t work very well for you. The state of pure allowing seems like the place where most positive change can occur. Let yourself be you, no matter who you are, embracing anything that makes you feel alive.

However, if and when I notice negative thoughts creeping in, it seems best to allow them to pass through with acceptance and without judgement. When I try to suppress or force myself to change my feelings, the more i push them away, the more they push back. I just allow it all to flow through me, without judgment, and I find that the thoughts and emotions will pass. As a result, the right path for me unfolds in a totally natural way, letting me be who I truly am.

It’s also not the case that attracting positive things is simply about keeping upbeat. I can’t say this strongly enough, but our feelings about ourselves are actually the most important barometer for determining the condition of our lives! In other words, being true to ourselves is more important than just trying to stay positive!

I allow myself to feel negatively about things that upset me because it’s much better to experience real emotions than to bottle them up. Once again, it’s about allowing what I’m actually feeling, rather than fighting against it. The very act of permitting without judgment is an act of self-love. This act of kindness toward myself goes much further in creating a joyful life than falsely pretending to feel optimistic.

Pg 158
It’s not important whether I’m having a bad day or a bad week. It’s more important how I’m feeling about myself while I’m facing this day or week. It’s about trusting the process even as I face a difficult time and not being afraid to feel anxiety, sadness, or fear, rather than suppressing everything until those emotions pass. It’s about allowing myself to be true to who I am. Because of this, the feelings will dissipate and occur less and less frequently.

Pg 159
A real goodie according to EJMM

Living more in harmony with who we truly are isn’t just forcing ourselves to repeat positive thoughts. It really means being and doing things that make us happy, things that arouse our passion and bring out the best in us, things that make us feel good – and it also means loving ourselves unconditionally. When we’re flowing in this way and feeling upbeat and energized about life, we’re in touch with our magnificence. When we can find that within us, things really start to get exciting, and we find synchronicities happening all around us.

We’re all one with the universe, our purpose is to be our magnificent selves, and the external world is only a reflection of what’s inside us.

Once I realised that there’s nothing outside my infinite self, I could begin to focus on viewing myself as an ongoing work of perfection – but it a way that’s dynamic, not static. Like a kaleidoscope that turns from one exquisite image to the next, perfection is constantly in motion. To me, this means seeing beauty in the journey and in the apparent mistakes as they take me to another level of understanding. My aim is to feel good enough about myself to get to a point of trust, and in that state, to let go of the outcome. When I began observing my own flawlessness. I started to notice my external world reflecting this. I was attracting what’s best for me, which is also the best thing I can do for the universe.

Pg 160
We always attract the perfect results, and like calls to like. So the kinder I am to myself, the more outward events will reflect that. The harder and more judgmental I am toward myself, the more my situation will match it. The universe always proves me right in my opinion of myself!

Previously, I used to pursue, feeling as though I had to do, get, and achieve. However, the very act of going after somethings stems from fear – we’re afraid of not having what we truly want. It keeps us stuck in duality, because the focus is on the inherent separation between the hunter and the quarry. Now, however, I no longer chase anything. Instead, I allow.

Pg 161
So if there’s something I desire, the idea isn’t to go out and get it, but to expand my won consciousness to allow universal energy to bring it into my reality here.

Pg 164
When we judge some of our emotions as being negative and try to deny them, we’re suppressing part of who we are. This creates a blockage within us and prevents us from expressing the fullness of our magnificence, just as extracting certain colours from the spectrum on the basis of a moral judgment would truncate the light and make it something it really isn’t.

There we have it. Tonight’s chapter on my journey with death. I’m looking to share some more NDEs from an NDE journal soon. Love to all, and all to love.


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