Disclaimer: I’ve gone back (to proof read among other things) and feel unsure to publish this or not. It feels exposing in places. I recognise it is an uninformed or simplistic and often rambling take on proceedings. I am also however interested in the fallible. Can i share an under-developed idea? Can i pose the beginning of a question? There will be much i have written which isn’t unique, or true, but these are stirrings for an evening.
I’m sitting at the table i bought 20 years ago for my first home. Drinking a stripey cup of choco-chai, a free sample from misterchai.co.nz gifted upon my last visit to wild earth organics.
Third born is sleeping.
Second and first still awake, up and down, with important requests and information.
The night is coming, day gone.
The birds have been intersecting the sky as i watched the belly of a seagull luminate across the fading blue.
I feel sad today.
Facebook is filled with rhetoric around ‘Mr Orange’, and all the other names he has been given.
Tonight’s wild & grace blog post is to share about the Maori community, and/or Tikanga Maori and how to come closer to this rich ancestory of our Aotearoa land. But i feel in a wee fog of facebook posts, which i need to navigate my way through before guiding us to ways to connect with a people, a thinking, a way of being which may be different from our ‘own’.
I am confused people are hating on ‘a hater’.
Nigel Latta wrote a fb post with some unique points of view to consider, yet, he motioned ‘Mr Orange…this petty, vengeful bully’ would ‘go the way of all bullies and shuffle off to his tower’ eventually. Don’t most of us know a bully has often been bullied, one of the ways they learn such behaviour. Imagining the eccentric that is Trump shuffling off, his head hanging low, to a tower, isolated, alone, makes me furrow-browed. I see the bear on the final page of ‘We’re going on a bear hunt’, that profound family adventure that espouses ‘we’ve got to go through it’. I see that ‘misunderstood’ bear, this shoulders rolled, his heavy hearted chest concave, painted from behind, returning to his cave, to the darkness, to the no-one.
Everyone deserves compassion, empathy, a conversation asking ‘why’?
Do we know all our “enemies'” stories?
“Mythology tells us that where you stumble, there your treasure is. There are so many examples. One that comes to mind is in The Arabian Nights . Someone is plowing a field, and his plow gets caught. He digs down to see what it is and discovers a ring of some kind. When he hoists the ring, he finds a cave with all of the jewels in it. And so it is in our own psyche; our psyche is the cave with all the jewels in it and it’s the fact that we’re not letting their energies move us that brings us up short. The world is a match for us and we’re a match for the world. And where it seems most challenging lies the greatest invitation to find deeper and greater powers in ourselves” — An Open Life: Joseph Campbell in Conversation with Michael Toms (1988).
Trump’s trump has shown us some truth (for now), that many people are hurt, or angry. That many people distrust people whom are different. That many people blame something outside of themselves, for their ‘discomfort’ or ‘suffering’.
I’ve confessed this before and will do so now.
I gave up mainstream media about 10 years ago.
I haven’t watched the NEWS for probably 15 years.
I won’t let my children watch or listen to it – i believe it is ‘incorrect’ to screen such one-sided, scare-mongering, inflamed atrocities (told without depth, and certainly not in a way our young can ‘learn’ from) before most childrens’ bedtimes.
I choose to avoid the NEWS because i get too disturbed.
I want to protest against the injustice, yet there is too much of it, it seems.
I want my thinking and my heart to feel peaceful and rested and calm, rather than neurotic and inflamed.
I want to focus on noticing what i can be grateful for.
I want to cultivate presence, the nature of observing what is in my physical field, rather than what came or what may.
Many people believe the NEWS or reality TV is THE truth. They believe there is a greater power wanting to ‘inform’ them, maybe even ‘protect’ them.
“Knowledge is power ? – Francis Bacon”
I do this (abstain from mainstream media) yet, i still ‘hear’ about what is current affairs.
I see the NEWS as glorified gossip. I wonder if people watch other people’s suffering in order to appreciate their own lesser ‘degree’ of it. Comparative happiness.
I wonder if people watch it, to judge how ‘unspeakable’ it is, how abhorrent. To sit in their lounges feeling righteous. Feeling lucky. Feeling proud. Feeling right.
I’m righteous. It’s why i write a blog. I believe i have something worthy to say. I believe some of my learnings, some of my research, some conversations people share with me, may contribute positively to someone else’s life.
I’m interested in empowering people.
Helping people feel loved, happy, connected, worthy, noticed, cared for, heard.
Righteousness like all states have helpful edges and limiting ones.
How many of us know what it is truly like to live ‘in’ peace?
How many of us watch a story on injustice and take sides, or feel ‘proud’ we/our country are not in such a situation?
How many of us gossip (try to find an ally) in regard to our own ‘disputes’ or ‘injustices’?
How many of us can forgive?
Or one step before this – can ‘allow’ all people to ‘be’.
How many of us have people ‘we no longer talk to’?
I’ve had a confronting year with disappointing some people.
I have found peace so very challenging.
Not understanding what ‘move’ is more peaceful, talking, giving someone ‘space’, stating ‘my’ case, staying silent, staying ‘in’ the relationship, retreating, allowing ‘the relationship’ to ‘die’.
This is on a miniature, or at least, not life-threatening scale.
How would i navigate peace, if my family were starving, due to someone else’s ‘call’?
Peace takes such perseverance, resilience, meeting the metaphoric enemy/discomfort whenever it arises (which is often at an inconvenient, or disturbing time).
A constant inquiry.
A constant shifting.
For it does shift.
How many of us can simply ‘let it go’ when it surprises us, and shifts, completely, away until what was once a solid, heated, alive feeling toward ‘the conflictor’, is now a still, empty, curious feeling.
Is it the same for ‘the other’?
Can it be laughable?
Can we allow it, it’s ridiculousness?
And i muse, how much of the pain is in fact about ‘me’.
Was i embarrassed, humiliated even?
Do i need ‘all’ people to like me?
Can i be wrong?
Can i be wronged?
Can it mean nothing?
Can i notice?
Breathe in, breathe out, and notice.
Cos it seems, from someone who doesn’t watch the NEWS, that American voters had to choose between two people who don’t have obvious ‘integrated’ or ‘holistic’ values.
What seems like an invitation to improve upon, is our political system.
People COULD be given the option to vote against both people.
The votes could be counted, and could count towards a final decision, for those who have no confidence in either (or any) of the leaders, presented.
I yearn for all ‘democratic’ countries to adopt the current Swiss system (Direct Democracy), where people vote, continuously, throughout a year, on policies (not people).
A friend (i forget which one now) said she’d hoped Trump would get in, so we would be forced to EXAMINE our current state of operation.
Our state of politics.
Our state of what we value.
Our state of economy.
Our state of poverty.
Our state of climate change.
Our state of inequality.
I don’t totally understand why i haven’t read pages and pages of FB posts about a REVOLUTION?
I guess most of us voters have been educated within a school system that resembles a prison. One with uniforms, inner courtyards, bells that ‘announce’ break times, roll call, and a culture of conformity and compliance.
I also find it odd that we consider ourselves a global community, we live within globalisation, our leaders are meeting in Paris at Climate Change Summits and stating the obvious, that how one (person/country) operates affects another. Watching ‘Leonardo’s’ film “Before the Flood”, stating that small subsistence islands such as Kiribati, with a minimal ‘carbon footprint’, are suffering at the hands (in pockets) of fossil fuel and energy heavy countries such as America, whose damaging environmental footprint, contributes to rising sea levels, and is literally ‘drowning’ the small islands.
Who has read Exodus, by Julie Bertagna?
Anyway we consider ourselves ‘Global’, yet we don’t have the right to vote on the leaders of our ‘shared’ globe.
Or perhaps this simply points out the unhelpfulness or ineptitude of politics as we know it.
What i see also, is that Trump is an ordinary person, who values money. He reminds me of John Key. A self-made man, who made his money trading money next to another who has risked much and been bold with, and prioritised making money rather than friends.
I find it sad some think a hero some to lead ‘a people’ is a fit position for those who have been successful financially, and that so many of us are inspired or intoxicated by this dream/ this ideal. Do we project ourselves onto these beings? Do we aspire to such fortune? Does their financial ‘security’ their financial ‘freedom’ help us feel safe, secure and free? Do we think their leadership will give us this too? Do we believe with financial abundance, with wealth, with the power to choose and get, we will be happy. Maybe we don’t. Maybe we’re not even thinking about being happy? Maybe we all want to be safe? Because maybe we watch the NEWS, we believe it to be TRUE, and we are scared? We are living in fear. We want to be safe. We have such a focus on money, as money buys us the therapist, the cleaner, the nanny, the good doctor, the medicine we choose, the house that keeps us well, the car that keeps us safe, the neighbourhood that keeps us safe, the best day-care for our kids, all the things we need, because we no longer get what we need from ‘ordinary people’. Many of us ‘civilised’ folk, don’t live with our families, or close to our families, many of us don’t even live with our childrens’ family (i.e. their mother or father). We are isolated. We live alone.
We are encouraged, or we have created conditions where we need to be self-sufficient.
The only way, the currency of silence, is money.
There are no conditions on money.
If we have it, we can choose whatever it is, whatever service, we need.
We don’t have to be kind, or caring.
We don’t ‘owe’ anyone anything.
All is transparent.
The exchange is complete.
Whereas the currency of human exchange leaves the door open, requires the transaction to stay alive, and the communication or relationship to continue.
I cooked you a meal.
You feel you need to cook me one?
Or give me something back?
So you do.
You take photos of my new born baby.
Exchange continues connections.
I dream of the era where the media’s mechanics are explained to the masses, where they are held accountable for their manipulation and destruction, where ordinary every day people understand the media is not neutral. Media doesn’t ‘care’ about humanity. I write a story and i send it to ‘the media’ cos i want people to know about my thing. Literally i write it. Journalists with copy and paste ‘my’ text, and pad it out. They decide if they want to run it. But IIII offer it. Media exists for humans to persuade, to sell, to share. Every story can be questioned. We can ask ourselves, what is the intention behind this ‘tale’.
In Stanislavsky’s acting technique ‘The Method’, the actor and director are asked to look at a line of dialogue, or a section of speech, and decipher what character (A) wants character (B) to feel. This technique is used, to help get into the psychology of the character one is playing, and to make sure i’m being clear in my delivery.
With this in mind, we can ‘read’ a story from the paper, the TV, the radio and ask (apart from being informed), does the story (teller) want me to feel?
What strikes me as interesting is i find Trump quite the character. It’s like he’s a character actor, he’s not the lead guy. He’s not the good-looking hero, he’s not the wise Yoda, he’s more like the character we all despise, the meanie. He’s the outcast. The archetypal villain? It’s curious and maybe not so, that many people voted him in. Could it be there are many people in America who see themselves as this? The misunderstood? The not heard? The mocked? The neglected?
He’s also a character the media have propelled. A reality TV program ‘made’ him. The media have brought him to the people.
As husband says.
He is a front man.
The majority of the parliament/congress have to vote for ‘Trump’s’ idea.
I see it as helpful that the world now also knows that there are many people in America who have very different ideas to many of us. Many who are either ignorant to or prepared to overlook sexism, racism, and general unkind and un-developed behaviour, to support some sort of guidance to a place of change.
If we are to continue to ‘meet’ peace, i believe we need to amplify our ease with people different to us. Can we converse and listen openly to people with different views to us. Can we allow people to have different behaviours? Can we in fact celebrate our flaws and those of others? How comfortable can we be in an environment that is opposing to one we would choose? Or can we be at ease with expressing that, and moving our minds and bodies to places we feel at ease? This is interesting. Is this the final answer to peace? One needs to be prepared to MOVE. Physically, emotionally, intellectually.
Is an answer to look for that we share?
Do we have children in the same class?
The same hospital?
The same prison?
Do we both believe in an afterlife or not?
Are we both struggling to pay the weekly bills?
Are we both prepared to die for our children?
Are we both pursuing our own happiness?
Do we both want happiness and is it possible, inadvertently, sometimes i get in the way of your happiness, and you get in the way of mine. Not because i want to wish you suffering. Not because i am an evil person. But that i’m doing the best i can in this very moment. And i can’t know, what i don’t know, i don’t even know. And you’re doing the best you can, with what you know.
As a dear friend once reminded me. “Only you can know what’s right for you, at any one time.”
Yet, many of us decide what’s right for someone else to do. We think “I need this from you, in order for me to be happy.” And “If you don’t give that to me, then you’re being ‘selfish’, or ‘unkind’, or ‘not delivering on the agreement of our relationship’.” Yet how many of us, are in agreements, we aren’t even aware of.
But then, what to do, if within a relationship, we are not getting what ‘we need’? Do we look elsewhere? Or do we look deeper for what it is we do ‘get’ from that person, and look elsewhere for the ‘missing’ piece.
And yet, within the ‘confrontation’ the ‘struggle’ or the ‘difference’, within each day, in each moment, we need to accept ourselves, encourage ourselves, forgive ourselves, BE with ourselves.
For when we can forgive ourselves, allow ourselves to be fully great and fully weak
When we can celebrate the REALITY of our yin and yang
The helpfulness and the limiting or all that we are, we may be able to offer the same empathy to an’other’.
Explore the ways to bring happiness and peace into life.
When are you happy doing what?
Welcome what makes your soul or inner child or self sing, for when you’re in harmony, people will ask
They’ll come closer.
They may listen.