Sex Talks – whetu – sex for a female

1-zD09ENpsABCQy34zNRPbrg.pngA short post cos i need to whizz off and write another about Kundalini Yoga.

This post may feel a little bit cheaty, cos i’m gonna direct you to a few links and keep it that.

Kundalini you ask?
Here’s what Kara-Leah Grant from The Yoga Lunchbox has to say about Kundalini:
What is a Kundalini Awakening and have I had one?

Whilst we’re sharing about fabulous kiwi women, Ellie Wilde is travelling the world a lot these days, teaching Conscious Sexuality, ISTA, Tantra and other juicy things (as she calls them) here’s a post The Anatomy of Arousal for Women she wrote and used to publicise a Bay of Plenty event this week called Pussy Talks. Keep your eye out for more learning opportunities with this woman.

What is conscious sexuality you say?
Well Huffington Post contributor Brandy Engler wrote this article entitled…guess…yup What is conscious sexuality?

Ellie was responsible for welcoming Ruby May to Aotearoa’s shores earlier this year. You can find Ruby here at alchemy eros. I liked the nude embrace and opening title of this tumblr post: To give and receive is one the most fundamental energetic movements of life.
I was introduced to Ruby May through this short video entitled How we unconsciously suppress the feminine.  A name of one of the workshops Ruby was facilitating was In Love and Service – female erotic leadership male service piqued my interest and i nearly drove to Auckland there and back in one day, but daughter has a ballet recital. Ah the melange of needs.

A few of us carpooled on our way to a Non-Violent Parenting workshop today with Ruth Beaglehole who has a TEDTalk Daring to Question the way we raise children.

We talked serious we talked funny.
One thing i learnt is the optimal time to be having sex is 5pm-7pm according to The Perfect Day Plan by Jost Sauer, based on the ancient Taoist understanding of yin and yang.
We joked this was more collateral to convince the husband to come from work on time, to help with the bathtime, be present for dinnertime, and connect with us all before teeth,toilet, story and sleep. We imagined husband walking through the door in that lovely Autumnal low light, queuing up a a noisy and light DVD, pushing play, investing in a bedroom door lock, and explaining to the children we were changing our clothes for dinner, possibly making the bed too, fixing a lamp bulb? I guess there could be those bold and true enough to say: We’re having sex, we’ll be back when we’ve finished.

Shock. Joy. Shock?

Whilst we’re talking about what feels radical. How many parents when talking about the anatomy (when it’s relevant) use the word clitoris? I have and found myself feeling a little squirmy about it, like i perhaps shouldn’t be using this word with a 3 year old, even though i can clearly see she knows of its existence. Curious. Are children born sexual? PS I don’t feel as squirmy about foreskin. Curious.

Another story shared was this from Elephant Journal written by Kristin Luce, which set me free. I wonder how many people i have round my dinner table would find these ideas palatable or radical or wonderful-ical. Without further ado a refreshing take on an potentially polarising topic Why I want my teenage daughter to have sex. Do people stop being friends or family because of views around this stuff, or am i being paranoid cos i’m a writer/sharer?

Lastly, but certainly not leastly, facebook community shared this site with me a while back OMGyes – lifting the veil on women’s sexual pleasure. The OMGyes website introduces itself (herself?) to you be a wee trial video and this: Constantly explore new ways to increase pleasure based in new research, videos and simulations. Knowledge for women and partners to make a good thing even better.

I lied, i have one more thing to share. I have Mating in Captivity – unlocking erotic intelligence sitting on the top of a stack of books which has literally put me into debt this summer, but reading, watching, workshopping is my soul-food and part of my self-care ‘package’ so ‘blow it’. I dooooo looooove Esther Perel especially her slow long interviews and TEDtalks. Get a load of her. She talks about affairs, and urges husbands to treat their wives like work clients instead of an old comfy armchair which will always be sitting waiting. I like her. And i like my husband. And i like me. And i like learning. Amen.

Things tend to come in threes, a third parting thought, or sound in this instance…

 

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