Behind every great woman is another great woman – a night of giving thanks

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Photo Credit: Anunay Mahajan

Listening to Billy Joel’s Lullabye (Good night, My angel).

The mexican spiced hot chocolate is simmering on the stovetop, in one of my Mother’s passed on pots, which was her Mother’s – Matriarch’s and “Master’s” of the kitchen.

I was on my second, actually third attempt of lighting a fire, or keeping the fire alight (ah the sound of raging milk, excuse me whilst i leap before spilt milk), when this came to me, from within those struggling flames. Those ambers were dancing my thoughts of my plight and the women who had eased the difficulty, this last while.


“Behind every great woman, is another great woman.”


Don’t get me wrong…

1) I am not great. But i am doing a great (of an extent, amount, or intensity considerably above average) thing at present. I have never tried to create something as great before. And yes i’m aiming for great. And like any race, will i win (‘complete it’ on my terms), lose (have a blow out) or complete it in some sort of essence but be munted in the process. But this is not about me…

2) “Behind every great woman, is also a great man.” Husband is loyal, steady, calm, measured, gentle, focused. Her gives and teaches me much.

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Photo Credit: Kristopher Roller

This week however it’s three particular women who helped me keep it together, or put it back together as happened last eve.

I’ve written about Ms Magic Hands plenty before and i promised as i left her house close to 9pm on a ‘School night’ i would acknowledge her skill and generosity again and here i am.

Tracy Pepper of Magic Hands is a body-blowing-ly (actually the trinity of mind, body, heart-blowing-ly) great Massage therapist. Her hands truly are magic, they are strong, they are intuitive, they are healing, they take pain away (for me at least). I lay on that heated table, warm towels laid on my computered body and felt something of presence and me (essence) come home. Thank you Tracy, i came to you yesterday feeling fragmented and fast and today i have felt centered, trusting, and able to see beyond what is in my thoughts.

Ruth McDermott was with my children that same Monday early evening. What a woman! What a constant in my life. I am grateful for this angel. Perhaps we all have someone who can be in our lives (for a short or long chapter) to be there. Ruth is that woman right now for our family. Being with our two youngest each Wednesday morning, and then many many evenings over the year, for date days and nights (the ones that do and don’t work out), for workshops when Husband is working out of town, for Mastercook nights which finish too late. And the care. C A R E. This Monday i asked her to take the children to the playground. Woolleyed up, off they trundle. Hand in hand. The children so happy and relaxed with her – this is whanau. Over an hour later they run gaily back into the house, with pet (what is the name of those little blue coloured sea-animals that suck onto rocks) well a pet one of those. I go to explain to EB the blue-being will die away from the sea and Ruth has already been discussing this all the way up the concrete steps from the Estuary. The kids have got what i couldn’t give them today. Fresh air, simple and slow, a calm adult, who’s happy and able to BE with them. Ruth does jobs that aren’t glamorous in a home that’s not ordered, and she does it with grace and generosity.

I couldn’t do what i do without you dear Ruth.

In this same home i have been placed at the kitchen table stabbing into this keyboard, figures and proposals and dreams for a community festival that gives us all fresh ways to be more flexible (in body, mind and heart), empathetic, kind, connected and well, together.

Christine Sadlier (from Creative Events) has wiped the table down and sat next to me with pen and paper to help sculpt the plan for the week. She has sucked it up and completed handfuls of funding proposals with stressful deadlines and time-consuming requirements. She has sat at her computer, when her passion and fuel comes from being a people person and being with people, alone she has also stabbed figures and propositions and requests into the email system, out of love rather than a hefty pay-packet. It’s not only little YOGA festival she fuels, Christine Sadlier is a volunteer extra-ordinaire. A ladies long lunch, TEDX Tauranga, Night Owl Cinema, Paradox, Tauranga Arts Festival…She is a giver (to her detriment). She has a big heart. I thank her for it.

Behind every well woman, is another well human…

Here’s to the people who help.
Gratitude for keeping that space for others open.

Written by Emily Marks

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