Ten tips to help with a difficult conversation and speaking your truth

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  1. Stand up.
  2. See the whole discussion through – rather than shying away from the difficult stuff or ‘shelving it for later’. This is the moment.
  3. Keep focused, keep minimalistic, rather than bringing up other ‘stuff’.
  4. See all conversations as an opportunity to learn.
  5. Listen (so they feel listened to and also so you address what they say – from their body and/or voice).
  6. Can we all be soft and strong? Kind and assertive?
  7. Stand in and speak your glorious truth and channel whatever or whoever to help you through. Use ‘i’ statements.
  8. Put one hand on your heart, and another on your diaphragm.
  9. Take your shoes off.
  10. Breathe.

    A few months ago i shared these words which came to me leaning against the kitchen bench.

    A friend was about to have a difficult conversation with someone(s), where the stakes were high.

    She needed to speak her truth, and the result of the conversation of sorts (listening, speaking and reading some other ‘truths’ or ‘evidence’) would mean she got something she needed OR didn’t. In this case, it was a big ‘thing’, a helpful ‘thing’, most may say a necessary ‘thing’ but i feel these words which came to me may help others, for their big or small things, they need or want.

    Communication of course is not always fuelled by things. Many times people desperately want to be understood. To understand we first must listen. When we listen, we may find ourselves understanding, and then possibly able to empathise.

    Not only is there the invitation to listen, there’s the invitation to speak, to share. When we are courageous (deliver from the heart, french word le coeur note: courage) and communicate our truth or our experience in this moment (for better or worse) it allows the other person(s) opportunity to act, or to change, or to apologise, or to make some sort of amends, or to empathise, or to feel empowered to make a choice (rather than them making their own assumptions about what may be happening).

    And as Brene Brown tells us, this takes vulnerability. Both to listen and to speak.

    Go well dear fellow humans, go well.

 

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